So I’ve been doing some reflecting over the course of the last few days and I’ve realized that there are some things that I need to leave behind in 2020.

At the approach of 2020, I remember all the chatter about how it’s going to be the year of clarity; clear vision and all those other things… well, for me it honestly was!

Even amidst the pandemic, socioeconomic unrest and other things experienced across the world, there were several things that stuck out to me. Things that I would have brought into the year, that I know for sure I don’t want to carry on any further in my life.

I don’t know if it was due to the pandemic or what but I spent a lot of the time reading (by audiobooks) and working on personal development type stuff and all I can say is that my mind must have absorbed every bit of it!

So here’s my list of things I’m going to be kicking to the curve this year! (In no order btw…. these are just based on my observances of my habits)

1. A Limited Mindset

If there’s anything that 2020 has shown me, it’s that we have to go back to expecting better and more for ourselves. I believe that we’ve gotten accustomed to playing small as we consider ourselves undeserving of the finer things and experiences of life; when the truth of the matter is we deserve to have, be and do the best we can whenever the opportunity arises.

As a mom I think about how we tell our kids that they can do and become anything they want in life; but then we’re on the side lines in our own lives allowing it to be limited just because!

Now obviously I recognize that there are factors that play a contribution in the way we see ourselves and it is these that we have to let go of to see success! Things such as our old paradigms, which are so deeply ingrained in each of us and limit our thinking.

If we can let go of these then we can get over ourselves and get on with our best lives!!!

2. Fear of failure

To be honest, I’ve never been excited about failing at anything and have grown up with the mindset that it’s a bad thing. But in reality, it’s really through failing that we learn.

Trial and error is how we determine our likes, our wants and our gifts amongst so many other things. if we never fail at something, how do we know what to do to get to success.

Do we just observe and watch the failures of others hoping that we learn through their lessons? Or do we decide to recognize that experience is really the best teacher and it’s ok to go ahead and fail forward.

3. Indecision

This is a big one for me and I’m finally ready to kick the habit because it shows up in all aspects of my life. I think about the times when my husband would ask me what I want to eat and I’d say ‘I don’t know’. Well his response to me would be that they don’t sell that and he’s right!

To be indecisive really slows us down in life. You can’t decide on your goals. You can’t decide on your plans. You can’t decide what to wear; what shoes to put on so you essentially just go with the flow. Without a plan. Winging it. Only in the end to get nowhere.

4. Being Comfortable

Being comfortable is safe for the short term, but how does it benefit you over the long term when you look back and have those ‘should have, would have, could have’ thoughts?!!

To stay where you are in life is a lack of progress. A lack of growth. Growth comes as a result of adversity and trying new things. In order to get to your dreams and goals you have to be willing to take the steps forward. Most times these will be into unchartered territory and that’s ok. We have to learn to enjoy the processes just as much as we enjoy the results.

5. Valuing the opinions of others over self

Everybody wants the validation of the next person but do we really need it. Like really think about it… do these opinions affect your life in any way possible that we have to place such high value on it?

Everyone won’t see or understand what your doing in life so you can’t expect everyone to always be on the cheering squad.

Besides, I believe that people’s opinions of you really have nothing to do with you. For me I think it’s more of how they’re seeing themselves and they’re emitting it through you.

Misery loves company is a true saying and everyone wants someone they can share with; whether it’s good or bad. It’s up to us individually to decide what we will allow to penetrate our beings or otherwise just roll off our backs like water.

6. Clutter

This may not seem like a big deal but clutter affects everything.

Think about how you feel when you walk into a room that’s filled with all kinds of ‘junk’ for lack of a better word versus when you enter a room with everything in order. It’s a completely different feeling and I’d venture to say extreme opposites.

For me I’ve realized that I need less stuff in my life because it simplifies everything. I have less decisions to make even if it’s related to something as simple as what I’m going to wear.

Especially being postpartum and having a tinge of postpartum depression, I realized that this one really contributed to my anxiety levels. Some days I just wanted to throw ‘stuff’ out and I would do just that, feeling a lot lighter after.

7. Saying Yes Just because

This is a bad habit of mine and most of the time I do it, it’s really to appease others or avoid disappointing people. 2020 helped me get over that though and so I’m leaving it behind. I’ve come to the realization that it’s ok to say no and leave it there without feeling the need to explain my motives. Yea people may be a little upset about it at first but eventually they get over it and you’ll feel better. I’ve found that when I commit to doing things that I have no interest in I drag my feet and delay, delay, delay until I can’t anymore. So going forward I’m saving myself of my own theatrics and hysterics and actually taking my feelings into account.

Now I’m not saying there aren’t things I won’t do because they’re obligations; but rest assured all the extras don’t have to worry.

8. Comparison

Someone had it right when they say ‘comparison is the thief of joy’! All it does is cause us to create an environment around ourselves where we self loathe and shame. We get so caught up with looking at others and what they’re doing and we forget everyone’s on their own journey and time.

We all have our assigned destinies and appointments but it’s so easy to see where we are and become disappointed because of the ‘milestones’ that we haven’t hit.

After about three months postpartum, I was looking at myself in the mirror wondering how come I didn’t lost the weight this time as quickly as I did with the first one and I would continually go on the scale hoping that I could just ‘snap back’ like so many do.

But then I realized that it’s really ok and I’m doing myself an injustice. It took nine months for the baby to grow so is it really necessary for me to stress myself about losing the weight? Let’s just say I’ve taken the batteries out the scale and I’m now just focusing on just trying to be a healthy mom with an amazing mom bod!

So that’s it for me!

Are you changing anything this year? Or will you continue to be the imperfectly perfectly amazing individual that you are?